[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Bob, there aren’t any dedicated miso loved ones websites that I’m aware of but you are more than welcome to make a new topic in the Allergic to Sound forum.

In addition, if you haven’t already, do check out the support page:

https://allergictosound.com/misophonia-support/

There is a section on there dedicated to loved ones of those with misophonia, which you may find helpful.

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Annie, this is a fantastic question.

I’m actually writing something on this subject for this website but that might take a while. In the meantime I’ll give you some notes on what I think may help.

1) Our brains appear to have an issue with sensory gating. Specifically we don’t seem to be able to filter out (ignore) certain everyday sounds that form background noise or a mild annoyance for neurotypicals.

2) We know that these specific sounds trigger activity our amygdala, the warning centre part of the brain often ascribed to ‘free-fight-flight’.

3) All of this is pre-conscious in the sense that we don’t get to choose to ignore these sounds or halt that rush of sensation (cortisol the stress hormone etc) which can lead to a feeling of panic and so on.

If I were a betting man I would say that misophonia may turn out to be a form of synaesthesia.

This is a very basic summary, and there’s a lot more to it, but hopefully it will give you a bit of an idea!

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Mia, and everyone else who has commented in this thread.

I just want to say I hope you are all doing ok, you’ve got this. I totally empathise with that feeling of everything being too much and no-one understanding from the bottom of my heart. It’s SO hard but you can do this. Things get better.

You are absolutely not alone. This is a whole community right here that has your back and understands what you’re going through.

If you have time check out some of the coping mechanisms (many of which have come from the community) here:
https://allergictosound.com/coping-with-misophonia/

If you’re having a suicidal thoughts, please please talk to someone and let them know. Don’t bottle it up inside, get help and talk it through. Speak to a parent, teacher or professional – someone you trust right away. Nothing’s worth going to that place.

I know parents often just ‘don’t get it’ and it can be frustrating. They can’t know what it’s like to be in your brain so they might need a little help and information about misophonia to get up to speed. Give them time and information and talk to them about it when you’re not in the midst of the misophonia as this will be when they are most receptive. Obviously feel free to send them here or to other resources (Misophonia International are also good)

[Allergic to Sound]

Thanks Iam9man!

[Allergic to Sound]

Thank you Iam9man.

It’s wonderful to hear that it has given you some relief!

I just need to add, as a cautionary disclaimer, to people reading this that this not a proven treatment for misophonia.

While Iam9man has noticed some positive results we do not know the long term efficacy of this drug yet or what the side effects may be (observed or otherwise). Also what may work for one person may have no effect or a detrimental effect for others.

In summary: For anyone reading this, please talk in detail with your GP or doctor before you take medication for misophonia.

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Hatice, I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. I know it might not seem like it at the moment it but I really think it does get easy to cope with as you get older (not least because you have more independence and freedom to find quiet spaces as and when you need to as an adult). If you have a moment take a look here at some coping techniques which may help you: http://allergictosound.com/articles/misophonia-coping-strategies/. Also, this article may be helpful for your parents: http://allergictosound.com/articles/why-parents-partners-siblings-mum-dad-biggest-misophonia-triggers/. If you’re feeling overwhelmed please don’t suffer in silence Hatice and do let your parents know how you’re feeling so they can help

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Moozie,

That’s fantastic. I’m not sure if you’ll find any specific courses/degrees on misophonia as yet, but I can certainly point you to two universities that are working at the cutting edge of misophonia research. They are:

1. USA – Duke University: https://www.misophonia.duke.edu/

2. UK – University College London (UCL): https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/1540343/

Cheers

Tom

[Allergic to Sound]

Hey Laura, totally agree, there are some great stories on there. It’s great to know that we’re not alone.

I just want to add some counterbalance on the age/misophonia issue – as this has come up a couple of times recently.

My own personal experience is that my misophonia hasn’t worsened with age and that it has more or less stayed the same, but with peaks and troughs which can sometimes last weeks or months.

For me those peaks and troughs almost always seem to be related to one of two things:

1) Stress levels (how much work I have on and how things are going with my relationships)
2) My environment (i.e. have the sounds in my day to day increased/decreased recently?)

As an overarching theme, and an addition to the above, is that I’ve found learning more about misophonia and reading about neuroscience and the brain has really helped me improve the way I can cope in the day to day.

[Allergic to Sound]

Hey guys,

Sorry for the delay, I ended up having a lot more to write on the subject than I anticipated! Here you go:

http://allergictosound.com/articles/why-parents-partners-siblings-mum-dad-biggest-misophonia-triggers/

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Laura,

I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through with your daughter, that sounds very challenging. Your timing’s remarkable because I’m just finishing putting together an article about why people with misophonia often experience more intense triggers with loved ones. [Spoiler: it’s not anything to do with unspoken hostility or harboured grudges!].

I’m hoping to get it out this week so do check this website (or your email if you’re subscribed to the free email newsletter) later in the week.

Cheers

Tom

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Siobhan,

It’s sounds like an incredibly difficult situation you are in. From what you’ve described it does sound like you have misophonia, those are common trigger sounds you describe.

I’m posting a few links for you here in case they’re of any help:

How to discuss misophonia with your partner:
http://allergictosound.com/articles/help-non-misophonia-suffering-partner-deal-with-misophonia/

Some misophonia coping strategies:
http://allergictosound.com/articles/misophonia-coping-strategies/

More misophonia coping strategies:
http://allergictosound.com/articles/the-big-reveal-your-favourite-misophonia-coping-techniques/

There are also some excellent help and support groups online who specialise in self-harm:

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/self-harm/#
http://www.harmless.org.uk/
http://www.nshn.co.uk/
https://www.samaritans.org/

Tom

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Grace. This is a great question and the issue you describe above is something I get as well (and I suspect many other misophones).

In terms of ‘labels’, right now we have the following…

Misophonia – aversion to specific sounds (chewing, sniffing, tapping etc)
Misokinesia – aversion to specific visual movements (face touching, leg jigging etc)
Sensory Processing Disorder – a broader term which can cover a whole set of sensory disorders. e.g. sound sensitivity (misophonia)… light sensitivity… touch sensitivity and so on.

The trouble is research into all of the above is really still in its infancy. As such we still don’t know enough about how different sensory processing disorders relate to one another. However, I think it’s fair to say that if you have one there’s a stronger likelihood you may also have one or more of the others.

For example I have misophonia and misokinesia and the issue you described above. I also have ASMR which is like misophonia but results in a pleasant sensation from certain, specific sounds.

Someone else might have misophonia and the contact issue you describe above but nothing else. Another person might have ASMR alone and nothing else. And so on and so forth.

I think what we’re discovering is that we can’t necessary lock ourselves under just the one label as if each disorder is a separate entity. I suspect they are highly related and share common neurological features.

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Grace,

That’s a really good question and I’ll be interested to hear the responses too.

For me it’s pretty much instant (i.e. when I’ve completely got away and have had a chance to take a few deep breaths).

[Allergic to Sound]

That’s a really difficult situation Jessie. If you’re exhausted all the time your stress levels will be higher than usual and your amygdala more reactive. This in turn will make the misophonia much worse, resulting in even more stress and even less sleep and less on. Is there somewhere you can go to get some respite (a quiet room or a nice walk)? If you can reset from time to time that will really help. Also, if you haven’t already it might be worth investing in some headphones that you can use when it’s particularly bad at home.

[Allergic to Sound]

Hi Damon, I really feel what you’re going through and it must be incredibly hard and frustrating at times. Humans absolutely do make noises, it’s not bad or weird or wrong, it’s just a natural thing.

I just want to clarify something regarding reactions though (and I hope this will be helpful). Misophonia doesn’t always allow the patient to control their immediate reaction. The part of the brain that is activated when a trigger sound is heard is the amygdala, which is an ancient part of the brain which is responsible for detecting threats/danger.

Certain sounds (i.e. misophonia trigger sounds) can instantly activate panic/alarm in the amygdala before the patient has a chance to conceptualise it, or do anything. So when a misophone’s body tenses… or they shoot out a glare or emit a noise, they may not have had any ability to control it.

The problem is we’re often playing catchup with these pre-conscious alarms going off in our head that we have no control of. It’s a bit like someone creeping up behind you and pinching you on the arm. You wouldn’t, in that millisecond, be able to suppress a wince but in the seconds that follow (as your brain catches up with the scenario) you may be able to exercise greater control.

I hope this helps. That expression of upset, in the moment, is not about you (or whoever is making the sound) it is about the sound itself.

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