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Hi Curtis and Waq7!
Thanks so much for the comment.
The evidence points to miso being a neurological disorder (rather than a psychological one), so it maybe that electrical brain stimulation could help. It would be interesting to find out as Curtis points out, if the trigeminal nerve was the best place to target given that the amygdala is the engine room of the ‘panic mode’. It maybe that there’s merit in targeting some of the relevant sensory nerves (like the trigeminal) given that they effectively act as inputs.
Hi Chris,
Thank you for posting this question. I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through.
The latest research suggests that there’s a neurological basis for misophonia and that this has something to do with the way sounds are either received or processed by the amygdala.
So in that sense I think it’s likely misophonia itself exists independently of mental health conditions (i.e. is not caused by or co-dependent on a mental health condition).
However it is relatively common for the disorder to co-exist with mental health conditions both independently and with more of a tit for tat relationship. For example it could be argued that the stress of misophonia can amplify anxiety disorders.
Where you get this overlap (with misophonia heightening anxiety and emotion and as such interacting with a mental health condition) it must be very disorientating and confusing.
From personal experience, the effects of my misophodes are always immediate and directly related to the trigger sound or vision. For example the sound of someone chewing will instantly hurl me into it. There’s not really much leeway there and never a delay, but it does seem to be even more intense if I am already feeling stressed or anxious.
Other than a bit of anxiety and some very mild OCD I personally don’t suffer from a mental health condition (am I incredibly lucky in this regard) so it will be very interesting to hear what others have to say.
Hi Adrian,
That’s really great you’ve tried to discuss it with them yourself, but have you also tried giving them some outside information and research that they can look at? I think this could really help them to gain some understanding.
For most people our condition must seem extremely odd and sound almost made up. It would be a bit like a friend coming up to you and saying “I’m allergic to the colour blue, please stop wearing jeans”.
You could try giving them links to websites such as this one, or Misophonia International where they can read about the condition in their own time.
I’m not sure which country you’re based in, but the BBC is a very reputable source here in the UK (where I live) and even they have been reporting on the neurological basis for misophonia. You can see an article here:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-38842561
I’ve also included some articles from this site below, which I hope you mind find useful:
http://allergictosound.com/articles/should-you-tell-friends-and-family-that-you-have-misophonia/
http://allergictosound.com/articles/help-non-misophonia-suffering-partner-deal-with-misophonia/
http://allergictosound.com/articles/where-to-find-the-best-online-misophonia-support-groups/
Hi Adrian, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through.
Have you tried discussing what misophonia is with your parents (the science behind it, the research etc) and sharing articles with them to help them understand the condition?
From my own experience, people tend to get very defensive and upset if they’re told not to do something (e.g. told not to eat a certain way), especially when they feel they’re not doing anything wrong.
However, if they understand that you’re suffering from a neurological disorder and that this directly affects you, they’re more likely to be able to help.
Hi Jenn, thanks for your post.
I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through with this and I think it’s really helpful to hear your perspective. It’s often no fun at all for the partner and given your own history it must be especially difficult and upsetting at times.
A number of miopshones who’ve got in touch with me my via this site are metallers, so it doesn’t surprise me that he likes listening to metal!
I know it must seem illogical/weird/contradictory that he likes loud or complex and sometimes discordant music but with misophonia it’s not sound or noise in general that’s the problem (in fact most of us love music). Misophonia is a selective sound sensitivity.
So it’s very specific sounds which trigger us. Whether it’s a certain timbre/pitch/tone/frequency we don’t know for sure yet (there are studies going into this).
What we do seem to know is which part of the brain is activated. Neuroscientists have conducted fMRI studies and during misophonia episodes (i.e. when trigger sounds are heard) they’re seeing that the amygdala lights up and it sets off freeze-fight-flight mode. A bit like if we were under threat from attack or in danger.
So (and apologises if I’m droning on) you have this primordial part of the brain screaming RED ALERT – and this is instantaneous – while the rational part of the brain tries to catch up and tell you that things are fine. Unfortunately the former is instinctual and we can’t just switch it off.
I don’t know if that helps. But that’s as best as I can explain both in terms of how it feels and from what I know about the current thinking in terms of the ‘science’.
Would you be able to send me the link to the Guardian article? (I didn’t realise we’d featured there).
Cheers, Tom
Very well put Laura!
Georgia, that’s great that you can talk to your mum about it and that you can both relate. Maybe you could discuss together with her the best way of explaining to your dad what you’re going through.
If you can point him to information about the condition (and about how it’s a difficulty in the way your senses and brain processes the noise, rather than anything he’s doing) hopefully that might help him to understand.
Hi Cara, that’s great you’ve found mimicking has helped you. I’ve found that helpful with eating as well, using that sound/action on myself to drown out the other.
The only trouble I’ve found is that it can lead to some slightly awkward/comedy moments if someone notices that you’re mirroring them, which is why I don’t tend to use it as much myself. One potential workaround might be to make a different noise yourself – one that distracts and drowns at the sounds of the trigger.
Hi Claire, I really really empathise with what you’re going through because I felt exactly the same way. I couldn’t understand why people felt it was acceptable to make these noises and why it seemed like everyone else was sleepwalking through life not noticing. I’ve had misophonia for over 25 years and a bit of me still thinks that every time I hear a trigger, I can’t help it.
The key realisation for me was when it clicked in my head that this thing we have really isn’t anything to do with other people or their behaviour. When our parents, friends or colleagues eat and go about their day making noises that drive us crazy they’re acting totally normally. 99% of the people are fine with the noises, it’s just us being super hypersensitive because we have this sensory disorder.
In other words realising that we can’t (and shouldn’t) try to change the world, can give you a fresh perspective. If you can let go and think “right, I have this – yes it sucks – but I’m not going to be able to change how the world works, so lets learn to live with it” it’ll get somewhat easier.
What might help is if you could talk to your parents openly about it and it and try to put yourself in their shoes. Explain to them that you know deep down that it’s not rational and that they’re not doing anything wrong, or trying to hurt you. But also explain that you have this sensory disorder called misophonia (ask them to read up on it) and that no matter how hard you try your body will reflex and you can’t help tensing up or glaring.
It’ll take time but the key is awareness and understanding. It’s just our luck as misophones that this is such a weird disorder to describe!
I really wish you all the best and do let us know how you get on.
Hi Rosie Bee, being triggered by family members and loved ones is totally normal (for misophones!) Myself and pretty much everyone I’ve spoken to has found that the people they’re closest to are their worst triggers.
Visualising violence, whether it’s chucking a hoover out of the window or worse, is also part of it. It’s horrible and it’s the bit I personally find the most distressing.
Ackhh, nectarines, pears or any kind of juicy fruit are unbearable for me as well. Why’s it always mums who love eating them so much!? My mum’s a fiendish cherry eater as well, slurps them up manically. I just try to leave the room in advance if it looks like someone’s going to start eating fruit.
Unbelievably hard as it is, I’d try to avoid telling off the people for eating them though. They’re not actually doing anything wrong and to them and 99% of the population it’s totally fine. We just need to think of clever and innovative ways to remove ourselves from these situations!
Hi Hannah! I’ve just merged your post into here – hope that’s ok.
For me the leaving the room technique is my number one strategy. I also find (and someone on Twitter reminded me of this today) that having ambient sounds in the background can really help.
There’s nothing worse than hearing trigger sounds, like someone eating or gulping in a silent room, so if you can have some music on in the background during a meal or even the tele, it can really help.
Great topic Jess.
I actually did an article a little while back on this because it’s one of the biggest, most difficult issues we face:
How to Help Your (Non-Misophonia Suffering) Partner Deal With Misophonia
I don’t want to be the harbinger of doom, but if you find fidgeting a problem, it sounds like you may also have Misokinesia as well. It’s fairly common for misophonia sufferers to have both (I have it).
My top tip for helping someone else to understand either condition would be to encourage them to read up about it themselves. Tell him to look up “misophonia” online so that he can research and digest the information in his own time. People tend to absorb difficult news better when they feel like they’re arrived at the conclusion themselves. Hopefully when he reads up on it, things will start to fall into place and he’ll realise: “Ah ok, that’s what Jess has been going through”.
Then he can come to you with questions afterwards.
When he does, and this is hard, try to put yourself in his shoes – as someone who doesn’t have the condition.
If he does ask you how it feels, try to give him examples he might be able to relate to.
The most important thing is to try not to make it about him (because it’s not) and instead describe how due to the way our brains are wired up, certain sounds are heightened to such an extent that it’s unbearable. A bit like someone’s turned the sensitivity up on a microphone and all you can hear or focus on is this one noise, to the point where you want to scream, or lash out, or run.
I’d also soften the blow by trying to use examples that relate to other people you know, rather than him. If he knows you have the exact same issue with other people you’re close to (for example your mum) he’ll realise that it’s about the condition, not him.
Tell him that you know it’s totally irrational (and that’s one of the hardest things) but that it’s a brain override which you cannot control. However with the right coping mechanisms and some understanding you want to try to manage it as best you can. So for example this sometimes might mean subtly removing yourself from the room sometimes when it gets really bad.
I hope this helps. If I think of anything else I’ll add to this.
Cheers
Tom
