This is the #57 edition of our My Misophonia Story series. This week features Ruby (17) from Scotland. Each week we’ll feature a new reader story, so if you’d like to share yours, please drop us a line. Ruby, take it away…
Where are you from?
Scotland!
What do you do for a living?
High school student.
What are you passionate about / what are your hobbies?
I love playing/ listening to music, learning new languages and reading.
How old were you when you first realised you had an issue with certain sounds?
I was 15/16 when I first noticed the symptoms.
When did you first find out it was called misophonia?
I searched up the symptoms immediately (being a hypochondriac) once I realised that this wasn’t something that everyone experiences.
What are your 3 biggest triggers? [bg_collapse view=”link” color=”#eb9500″ icon=”arrow” expand_text=”Click to Show Triggers” collapse_text=”Click to Hide Triggers” ]Mouth sounds!
Chewing
Breathing
Lip smacking
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Do you have any other sensory quirks?
I hate seeing people fidget or do a repetitive movement such as jiggling their foot. I also hate it when people look at me eat or if I look at someone eating, as I associate this with misophonia.
Have you told other people about your misophonia and if so what was their reaction?
I’m pretty open about misophonia, and by now I am used to having to explain what it is. At first, my family didn’t believe something like this existed, but finally understood that it was a problem for me as I would suddenly burst into tears at mealtimes, and I was allowed to sit out of the conversation and wear personal headphones since.
My close friends were more understanding, but most people I meet think it is a joke and find it very funny to make fun of me me or make the trigger noises to see my reaction (not ok).
There was one time when somebody accidentally dragged their fingernails down a piece of paper, and I reacted to it pretty badly (physically cringed and twitched involuntarily). I didn’t even realise that was a trigger sound, but the other people nearby saw that I had quite a strange reaction to it and a few of them started making that sound deliberately.
It got to the point where I was begging them to stop and was almost in tears as every time they would gleefully make that sound I was flinching and feeling that panic and fear. Probably the worst experience I’ve had with other people, as I couldn’t escape and nobody actually understood what it was like for me in that moment.
What’s your funniest/most ridiculous misophonia-related moment?
I once found myself in in the situation of an entire room of people repetitively clicking their pens because they knew I disliked the sound.
This was before I really developed a sensitivity to sound, so I didn’t react very badly to it, but thinking back now it was such a ridiculous moment because it is every misophone’s nightmare experience.
What helps you to cope with your misophonia?
I listen to music at mealtimes with my family, and when with friends or at school make sure I sit a little further apart when people are eating.
Anything that provides a distraction helps. Sometimes I will click my fingers or make some kind of subtle noise right next to my ear (such as rustling my hair or rubbing my fingers together) to drown out a sound if I can’t access my headphones.
What are your misophonic superpowers?
Misophonia helps me empathise with others who have similar lesser-known issues and don’t know how to cope with it and struggle to make people understand. I can pick up specific quiet noises even if “mixed” with other background sounds (handy when listening to conversations in a noisy space).
What’s the single most useful piece of misophonia related advice you’ve learnt?
I’m not alone.
What’s your very best life hack?
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened” – Dr Seuss
Is there anything else you’d like to share with your fellow misophones?
You’re not alone!
And finally! The quick fire round…
Favourite place you’ve visited:
Bruges, Belgium
Favourite song:
Right now? Cherry Wine- Hozier
Favourite book:
The Midnight Palace- Carlos Ruiz Zafón
Favourite work of art:
The Persistence of Memory- Salvador Dalí
5 things you couldn’t live without:
My headphones, my guitar, cheese, friendship, a good book
You poor girl.
I have had misophonia since i was tiny but I’ve kept it a secret so no one has tortured me with it. I’m also autistic so some of the sounds physically hurt as well as causing panic. I can’t imagine being in a room with pens clicking. How awful
I’ve had misophonia since I was very young. I also can’t stand any kind of repetitive movement from feet, legs, hands, fingers, hair playing. I get this inner rage that is so hard to control. I’ve always been very embarrassed about being like this. I never even knew it was a thing until I first discovered Tom’s column. I am so grateful to him for doing this. I always felt so alone and just thought I was wierd and not being nice. I would never ever tell anyone because of what you have dealt with. It’s very mean that people would purposely do this to someone to bother them when they know it causes grief. Why are people like that. I would never do something that I know hurts or bothers someone else. It hurts that people are like that. I sometimes wonder if there would be a way to find out if any of us live close enough together that we could meet. I am 56 and very worried about getting old and having to be in a place where lots of people are triggering. I don’t know how I would be able to deal with it. I would have to be on meds of some kind to calm me down. I do get very angry and frustrated when someone is triggering me so I copy them thinking “I’ll show them how annoying they’re being” but they probably just think I’m nuts…lol… plus they usually don’t stop because I suppose they’re showing me how irrational I’m being. One of the worst sounds for me is gum smacking. It’s also kind of rude to do that anyway so I don’t feel so bad smacking back at them or I say to them “wow your gum sounds good” …lol…
Ruby and I have the same triggers, and she’s the first person I’ve read about who is triggered by leg swinging. This drives me crazy, and the more I try not to look at someone doing it, the more I seem to see it. My misophonia started at about age 11, and now I’m 60 so hopefully this will comfort some fellow sufferers, for you can live with it. After many years of therapy for OCD, since misophonia wasn’t recognized yet, my best defense for my sanity is custom-made ear plugs that allow me to block out sounds but still hear what people are saying and also speak. I had them done at an audiologist’s office, and it’s the best $150 I’ve ever spent. One size fits all ear plugs from the Internet never worked for me, and you can get these ear plugs made so each pair has a different level of decibel sound reduction. Sometimes I want to block out all sound and just hear silence!
Aleex,
I too also have custom made ear plugs from an audiologist. While my husband doesn’t snore per se, his breathing, sometimes like a vacuum cleaner, a horse neighing or flapping its jaws, or a whale expelling water through its blow-hole, I find intolerable. I am in my 70’s, wish I could tell you it gets easier, it doesn’t. While I grieve for people who have lost loved ones, and businesses due to COVID, it has been a wonderful respite for me. I no longer have the angst and rage I would experience at restaurants, plays, opera, and traveling on airplanes. Hearing people talking, laughing, smacking gum, and repetitive motion are nightmares. I think it’s invaluable to know we’re not alone.
Isn’t there a technical term called “keneisophonia” (not sure of spelling) for discomfort watching repetitive motions like leg-giggling? I read it somewhere while researching misophonia when my son was having a rough time trying to explain his condition to family and friends.
One of my nieces has had misophonia since she was about ten. Her grandfather won’t eat with people either. And, my father displayed symptoms when I was growing up in the 40 and 50’s, long before anyone knew about this disorder. This leads me to believe it is hereditary.
Thank you to everyone for this website and for your stories. I am 67 and I live in Australia. I have had misophonia since I was 10 or 11. I hated my dad crunching on apples but of course I never knew what it was called until the last 5-6 years. It got worse as I got older so it is good to understand it is a real thing. I hate going to the movies if people are crunching on chips. Mostly I remove myself from situations and my husband sort of understands. All sorts of noises can annoy me and if I sometimes find absolute quiet that is very special. I also hate clicking pens, tapping feet and fingers, wiggling toes and other repetitive movements. Strangely though I can also find some sounds very soothing – the sound of rain on my tin roof and the sounds in some ASMR videos – the sight and sound of hair being brushed can be relaxing and drowns out other sounds and helps me go to sleep, and the voices of a very few people can do that too.
Thanks for the past few comments, especially that people manage to survive through this condition, as some days for me, I feel I cannot. I am almost 46 and also live in Australia. I have known of my sound sensitivity since about 6 y/o and can relate to so many things that have already been said. I now find my whole life, especially at home, revolving around this gut wrenching condition. I have an Audiologist appt tomorrow and will be asking for some custom earplugs to be made, as finding I am having to wear them more often lately and my earholes hurt .We are currently trying to secure acreage, on a bush block, where I will only be surrounded by hundreds of trees. Something to help me to survive, as I get very depressed and helpless. There is also much shame associated with this condition. I thank Tom so much for allowing me to discover this is a real thing.