This is the #63 edition of our My Misophonia Story series. This week features Paula (34) from the UK. Each week we’ll feature a new reader story, so if you’d like to share yours, please drop us a line. Paula, take it away…
Where are you from?
I live in Birmingham, UK.
What do you do for a living?
I work for Ministry of Justice-Employment Tribunals as a Court Clerk.
What are you passionate about / what are your hobbies?
I like going for country walks, spa days, afternoon teas, listening to music, decorating, flower arranging, watching horror films. I am passionate about Christianity, Gothic and Retro cultures and helping people.
How old were you when you first realised you had an issue with certain sounds?
I started to notice when I was in my teens, I think 13/14 I hated when my brother and mom would be speaking outside my room.
When did you first find out it was called misophonia?
Last year, when my friend said she had it. We share the same issues.
What are your 3 biggest triggers? [bg_collapse view=”link” color=”#eb9500″ icon=”arrow” expand_text=”Click to Show Triggers” collapse_text=”Click to Hide Triggers” ]-Men talking especially deep voices (sounds like mumbling to me)
– Sounds coming from another room i.e. radio/tv from neighbours, people talking on the radio coming from cars etc
– Loud chewing, lip smacking when people eat
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Do you have any other sensory quirks?
Light sensitivity.
Positive – I have not heard of ASMR but listening to a softly spoken or whispering voice and being touched (someone messing with my hair, any physical touch) gives me tingles.
Negative – This sounds weird but when I am triggered for a long time I get a sensation in my groin area.
Have you told other people about your misophonia and if so what was their reaction?
My best friend and my colleagues know about it but people at work don’t understand, they do suggest ways to calm myself but it doesn’t work.
What’s your funniest/most ridiculous misophonia-related moment?
The most ridiculous moment I can think of is shouting at my colleague in front of everyone to shut up, stop cracking his knuckles, to put his phone on silent, to use his headset (for his hearing) as I don’t want to hear it. Sometimes I do expect my colleagues to sit in silence.
What helps you to cope with your misophonia?
– Music on my headphones is a god send. I use this for travelling, sometimes at work and when I’m at home
– Silicone headphones really help block out noise from my neighbours (but they don’t block out sounds nearby)
What are your misophonic superpowers?
I can hear everything that goes on and I’m very sensitive. I can pick up on peoples energy before I even speak to them. This is a good indicator of whether or not I should associate with them in my personal life. I have noticed that if there is someone in my life who is making me feel negative and I don’t like the person I am when I’m with them, then I know I shouldn’t have them in my life.
What’s the single most useful piece of misophonia related advice you’ve learnt?
In most cases, there is a solution for everything. If people don’t understand you, it doesn’t matter.
What’s your very best life hack?
When you chop an onion and you start to cry, put a silver spoon in your mouth. It will stop the crying.
Is there anything else you’d like to share with your fellow misophones?
I’m glad I’m not the only one suffering with this, most days I feel like I need help and wish I was partly deaf.
And finally! The quick fire round…
Favourite place you’ve visited:
Neverland Valley Ranch in California
Favourite song:
I cant think of just one but I’ll go for Alive by Hillsong Young & Free.
Favourite book:
The Little Vampire – by Angela Sommer Bodenburg
Favourite work of art:
Portrait of Mare Antoinette ca 1767-68 [attr. Martin Van Meytens] or, anything Rococo
5 things you couldn’t live without:
– Silicone ear plugs
– My bible
– Red wine
– Music
– My bed
Paula, I am also 34 and Birmingham based and pretty sure that I have Mosophonia. I have just come across this website and now read your post, thank you so much, you have helped me feel not alone. And I am feeling more confident about approaching the necessary people for diagnosis / support or both depending on how I feel.
I have just found your website looking for help! I’m 71 years old and have suffered with this complaint since early teens. I cannot stand :
Repetitive tapping
Pen clicking
Lip smacking
Chomping
Crisp eating
Someone moving their feet repeatedly
People constantly banging their car doors
I even have to make sure I’m sitting on the back row of the cinema so no one is behind me opening sweet wrappers, crunching etc
I feel my life is governed by other people’s noise. Sitting outside on a nice summers day is horrendous as my neighbour is constantly clearing his throat, or moving his chairs and table around on his decking, I cannot listen to my lovely tranquil water feature because I have to have ear plugs in!
I actually cried when I read this! Thankyou – I finally feel not alone with this. I’m always afraid of lashing out at people and do everything I can to block out noise triggers (I wear ear plugs or headphones whenever possible). I have been told that I have ‘bat ears’ as I pick up on sounds other people don’t hear/don’t notice, so your ‘superpower’ resonated with me. Also when you said that you wish you were partially deaf. It seems an awful thing to wish for, but I have had this same wish.
STOP I completely understand and relate to the “This sounds weird but when I am triggered for a long time I get a sensation in my groin area.” -and I agree with how it sounds really weird and kinda sexual, but it isn’t. And it occurs usually when I’m really stressed and triggered, especially in class.
I am so happy to learn about this as I have suffered (and I do mean suffered) with this since I was a teen. I am now 77 years old and just thought I was weird. The sound of cracking knuckles nauseates me. I was once helping a student who kept cracking his knuckles. I finally told him that I was going to throw-up on his desk if he did it one more time, and I meant it. (I’m feeling queasy just remembering it.). I hate any repetitive sound like when the old vinyl records got stuck or some of the pop songs that repeat the same line over and over, but cracking knuckles is the one that is unbearable.
I have had this condition for many years after being diagnosed with PTSD.
Today I tried to explain it to my Husband who laughed and said maybe he should tape me when I am asleep because I make the same noises he does when I am sleeping, he makes the weirdest sound like a growl and ‘blowing a raspberry’
He does not have the condition I am trying to cope with and he found it amusing at first, then straight away got on the defensive, even though I tried to explain that it is not his fault and that I am trying to explain that it is a condition I have.
There is no support or any attempt to understand how this condition is making my life a misery.
Other triggers are him stroking the dog, it is a repetitive sound and movement I cannot tolerate. He knows this is a trigger for me but seems to do it even more when we are sat in the lounge watching tv. I rarely get chance to relax and unwind.
The repetitive movement out of the corner of my eye and the sound makes me so anxious.
The clicking of his mouse on the computer, scratching his head, blowing his nose so loudly followed by a spell of super loud coughing makes me jump and triggers a terrible feeling of anxiety. He literally eats like a pig.
None of this is his fault and I know I need to ‘get a grip.’
Most days I wish I wouldn’t wake up anymore.