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Hi i’m Alexa and i’m 13 years old. I have been struggling with misophonia for years. The first time I realized I had it was when I was 10 and my two older sisters and I were all squished together in the backseat of our rental car while we were on vacation. One of my sisters was chewing gum and it drove me crazy. It gave me a feeling of panic and I felt like I had to scream and I needed to get away. Right then and there I broke down into tears not able to express my feelings and my panic. Every sense that day every little thing like someone touching their face, sneezing, blowing, chewing, etc. makes me want to scream and lash out. Every day it gets more and more noticeable and harder for me. I have no outlet to let out my feelings and I feel trapped. Every dinner I am the first to sit down and i rush through my food and leave as soon as i’m done. I have to have noise cancelling airpods to block out sound. Most dinners I sit there silently suffering, too scared to tell my parents and sisters how badly their chewing affects me because I don’t want them to have to change for me. They know I have problems sometimes but they have no idea how sever it is because I keep it all inside to myself. I want to be close with them and I want to be able to sit there and have a nice family dinner and tell them about my day and talk with them but I can’t.
