Help to manage this condition

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  • #1015476 Reply

    To see this site and realise that it’s not just me that seems to find so many noises cause me to feel a mix of non desirable emotions (irritation, annoyance, disgust, anger, desire to leave the room , become anxious at being around anyone) has been a relief. My main concern is that it’s wreaking my relationships with people as I have become very insular thinking that I’m just better off on my own as I can remove myself from outside triggers without issue or explanation.
    My marriage is really suffering as a result of this, although my wife is aware some noises get to me she has no idea about how severe it’s become since covid lockdown. Sometimes she will do things (like eat crisps) when I’m out of the room but other times she won’t bother and I feel the anger raising inside me as she crunches. As time goes on more and more noises seem to affect me. (My mum flicks her nails as she chats and it really gets to me) I’m also finding repeated movements like tapping a foot in the air causes the same reaction. Why is this? How can I manage this better before it wreaks my life?

    #1015499 Reply

    Hello Lisa,

    I want to say that I understand what you are going through. It is awful and truly crippling and isolating. The rage I feel is instant and I would give hulk a run for his money! I think you need to have a very honest conversation with your wife and come armed with some research on misophonia to substantiate what you’re saying. I eat entirely separately from my family and I’ve just had to accept that that is the way it is. I am more comfortable, they are more comfortable. Over time you get used to it and it doesn’t feel so strange. She needs to understand what your triggers are and how she can help. You have to be honest with her, otherwise, your resentment and anger will become worse. Like you, my auditory triggers have now grown to include visual triggers. I hate to see people licking their lips, or my partner scrunch up his toes – honestly, where do we get these triggers from eh?!

    People say having earplugs really helps. I like to have lots of noise rather than a lack of noise if that makes sense. I have the radio on constantly and have white noise on at night. I don’t sleep in the same room as my partner as they snore and I couldn’t cope. You need to make adjustments so you feel calm and comfortable and those closest to you need to be considerate of that and make changes to accommodate you. They would if this was a physical disability that they could see.

    In terms of treatment, I hear some people talk about CBT and counselling. I’m really hoping a miracle happens and there is some sort of breakthrough soon.

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