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September 16, 2020 at 6:03 pm #1012889Robert Carlos
About a year and half found out that I have some degree of misophonia. I ve lived next to a really bad neighbor. For more than 20 years he plays music 12 hours straight(80 90s songs) heavy metal and so, after that he takes a break and from 8pm to 2 or 3 am plays loud musics or war video games. Next day same menu, so yes we called the cops and other authorethys also try to speak to him, but all we got was I am the oldest person that has lived here so I do what I want, also has insulted cops too. ( hes 50 ish graduated as doctor but never worked as one,hes dad pays hes bills)
Manage to put a demand on him, and has calm down a little. But after a particular incindent where he put loud music from 9 am to 3am , insulted all neighbors with kareoke microphe, it was then when all neighbors could not stand the noice (85 decibels) and called the cops.They told him that if he did not shut down, they will break the door and get him to jail.
After that event, he stills plays loud music, so basically, I can stand the bum bum sound, the bass, 80s and 90s music, he also talks like hes screaming, so when he plays the stereo and I feel that bum bum, my face starts to sweat, body trembles, can concentrate and feel the urge to run away and even commit suicede. Situation Its so bad that, when I come from work i feel scared to get home and find that hes already playing loud music and who knows if going to do the same thing that happenwith cops.
The main problem is that I work most of the time from home. So most likely I have to deal with his noice and bad intentions on daily basis.
I ve dealt with a lot thing, me and my family survive a 12 year civil war, we where exile during war because they were trying to kill our whole family for political reasons, Survive two debasting earthquakes in 1986 and 200. Im from el salvador by the way, so gangs and politicians rule the country so coming back alive everyday its just a miracle (people get killed for a phone here) both my parents got cancer,lost my job and now im more sensiseble to sounds.
I ve touch really deep botton and manage to get out . But now dealing with particular sounds its starting to break me. I was diagnost with a high degree of anxiety, normal people have a scale of 30 points,I had it at 48 in the hamilton test of depresion. So started to take medications, worked for some time, but the drawback almost made me considerer suicede.
So, how I coped with this sickness?, cry it out, yes,let it all out with someone you trust, just cry and release it. Youll probably cry some more until , in some way , you ll start to see things a little more clear. We are not made of steel. Sometimes is ok to break. The problem is still going to be there, you are probably going to fall again in that dark place. But you cant give up.
My main problem is this,I tent to imagine things that are most likely never going to happen and get stuck in that imaginary story that my mind just create it. Example , sometimes I think my bad neighbor is going to hire someone to kill my wife,because everybody knows shes my world. But that, my friends, is something that will not happen, it only happens in your mind, and if you give your mind control , than theres no way back. When you start thinking stupid things like this,talk to yourself, sounds silly, but tell yourself,please I dont want to think of things that are not real and most likely will never happen.
Its really hard to deal with this, but believe me, I have worked as a photojournalist and walked the streets of my poor country. And theres people with worst things and are still fighting in this world. I m not saying with dont live a freaking hell with misphonia, its really tireing, but we can support eachother, we have a lot of grateful things to be happy of. We cant just give in to this disease. Once I told someone about my condition, that I can even hear the tick tock on his wristhwatch, he than told me that he was going to tell hes son that he met a super hero that had super hearing. Ironic was the only thing that came to my mind.
I have started to sleep with earplugs to deal with my neighbor that likes to scream or make noices in the middle of the night, just to wakes us. Somedays are quiet and others feels like an eternal hell on earth. I really dont know if I will ever have a day of peace in my life, but one thing I can assure you guys, you started to value more those little moments of peace and joy