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- May 6, 2020 at 10:10 am #1012197David
I was worried for a while that I was losing my mind and I looked up my very specific issue and I found the name of this disorder thankfully, and hopefully, I can get some help here and then hopefully I can even help others out one day.
First some background; I am male, 45, recently laid off from my job, ad have been doing some remote IT work, and I had to move back home into the basement…the dreaded basement!! My mom lives upstairs and the living room is directly above where the room is in the basement which is where I’m at the computer searching for a new job. I’ve been out of work now for 5 months and with the pandemic it will probably be some time longer.
The issue is, as I said, the living room is above where the computer is…and my mom sits on the couch and taps her foot on the ground over and over.
What I’ve done is I’ve asked her and she took a stance that nobody is going to tell her what to do in her own home! I told her it’s making it hard for me to do my remote work and also job search, but she said I am just too sensitive to noise! So, very recently I tried a new approach and told her that it’s shaking the lights in the basement and making the lights flicker, and she said she doesn’t want to hear any complaints. Difficult, indeed…however, I have no choice right now!
The thing is that it goes beyond the sound. It’s not so much the noise itself…because it really is just a dull tapping on the floor, but it’s the overall concept of the fact that it’s an unnecessary thing for her to do…it doesn’t provide any logical reason to continue doing it, and it’s such a simple thing to refrain from doing…especially if someone has asked you nicely, and even more so if someone has told you that it’s creating a flickering in the lights below. So that’s really it; more than the sound itself it’s just the thought that it doesn’t have to be and it shouldn’t be!
So, I guess my questions are what can I do to cope since I am stuck here for now? I have ear muffs that block out almost every sound but they are extremely hot and then I cannot hear my phone ring and I cannot hear the television. I have tried white noise and music and the TV, but for some reason my ears still search for that sound in the distance.
What can I do?
How can I reason with myself to deal?
Also…any other suggestions as to how to approach her about it?
Thanks, Be Safe, Healthy, and Bless you all!!
DaveJuly 11, 2020 at 3:44 pm #1012885Robert
Hi, i can feel your pain. About a year ago i had a problem with my noisy neighbor to the point cops had to threatened him twice. He was playing loud music since 9 am and it was 3 am, cops register 85 decibels at that moment. He lives beside our home so its like javing the speaker in your ears all day long. Thinks havent change much from that day. I started to get annoy my bass sounds, same thing you are feeling, the vibration and also that urge when you put on headpieces to avoid sound, you can still hear it. I had to try a lot of earplugs and what help was using really good plugs and putting on noice canceling headphones, but donr use the noice cancell optio, I put soft relax piano music and that usually calms me down a lot. I breath deeply and avoid thinking things that never going to happen. Also put phone on vibration so in case i dont listen the call sound i can feel the vibration. Its hard having this thing, its like hell everyday, and its tireing. But we are still fighting everyday, we get it and we try again, eventually something will give us the answer. Stay strong.November 2, 2020 at 2:20 pm #1013298CJ
I would hide her shoes or slippers until she promises to stop.