Hi Claire, I really really empathise with what you’re going through because I felt exactly the same way. I couldn’t understand why people felt it was acceptable to make these noises and why it seemed like everyone else was sleepwalking through life not noticing. I’ve had misophonia for over 25 years and a bit of me still thinks that every time I hear a trigger, I can’t help it.
The key realisation for me was when it clicked in my head that this thing we have really isn’t anything to do with other people or their behaviour. When our parents, friends or colleagues eat and go about their day making noises that drive us crazy they’re acting totally normally. 99% of the people are fine with the noises, it’s just us being super hypersensitive because we have this sensory disorder.
In other words realising that we can’t (and shouldn’t) try to change the world, can give you a fresh perspective. If you can let go and think “right, I have this – yes it sucks – but I’m not going to be able to change how the world works, so lets learn to live with it” it’ll get somewhat easier.
What might help is if you could talk to your parents openly about it and it and try to put yourself in their shoes. Explain to them that you know deep down that it’s not rational and that they’re not doing anything wrong, or trying to hurt you. But also explain that you have this sensory disorder called misophonia (ask them to read up on it) and that no matter how hard you try your body will reflex and you can’t help tensing up or glaring.
It’ll take time but the key is awareness and understanding. It’s just our luck as misophones that this is such a weird disorder to describe!
I really wish you all the best and do let us know how you get on.