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Triggers. Aw, blech.
Kissing is a big one, combined with the visual of anyone putting their mouth near any part of another person. Couples who kiss in front of me make me physically nauseous and angry enough to start punching. That’s probably the worst one for me.
Any kind of mouth noises, particularly that sticky, wet sound people make when their lips pull apart – so gross. Even the tiniest mouth noises are intolerable…my poor husband gets dry mouth at night and I could just kill him…even the dogs making gross mouth noises can disgust me if I’m in the wrong frame of mind. I wear earplugs at night on the weekend but have to hear my alarm during the week, so I just suffer. He’s been amazing with these conditions, though…will sleep on the couch if I need him to, not use his e-cig when I’m around (the hand-to-mouth and tiny pop it makes are huge triggers) and will warn me if he’s planning to eat or drink something. If I know ahead if time, I can often steel myself to tolerate it (with him only). If I’m surprised, I have to bail and go hang out in my room with the fans on.
Sybilants. Dear Lord, women who talk quietly but you can hear their teeth – whistling “s” sounds from another room…or from another seat on the bus…ew.I just want to scream at them to stop whispering and speak like human beings, at a normal volume.
Gum chewing and bubble-popping : just kill me now. Whoever invented gum (and toothpicks) should be strung up and beaten. If I see somebody take out a pack of gum I feel like the world is ending, because I know what’s coming and that there’s no escape.
Others : nail clipping, feet rubbing on fabric, glottal-frying or men’s voices with little tune to them but a heavy bass, and anything coming from the other side of a wall. I always have to live and stay on the top floor of buildings, because peoples’ tv noise and conversations (if I don’t know who is having them – if I do it’s usually okay for some reason) will drive me insane.
I don’t tell anyone about my disorders, not even my physicians. None of my friends know; only my husband and my sister (who used to torture me with mouth noises on purpose whe we were younger, but understands what it is now and is extremely cinsiderate). The reason is because the second I let someone know, my brain tells me they are exhibiting trigger behavior intentionally. I know that’s completely irrational, but it’s a failsafe to not tell them that keeps me sane and them out of enemy territory. I can rationalize with myself and de-escalate a lot faster if the trigger person is “innocent”.