Reply To: How to Tell a Loved One They’re Affecting You?

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I’m very grateful I found this website via a news article on The Guardian.

I believe allo have read here and elsewhere today is an accurate description of conditions my husband suffers from. We call him the bionic man because he is driven to rage by things I cannot even hear.

The eating together thing has been rough for us. I suffer from a long history of eating disorders and come from an emotionally abusive background so I have long interpreted his unusual sensitivity, anger, enraged looks, disgust, and melodramatic reactivity as as cruel and selfish. I just hate it. We eat in front of the tv now, it helps, but I eat as silently as possible and he glares at me at sounds I can’t even hear. It is like living in a crazy funhouse. But not fun.

He said he has a condition but it just seemed like b.s. to me because sometimes I make sounds on purpose just to try and understand what he is reacting to and he doesn’t even hear them. Maybe they weren’t repetitive enough to bug him though. And he LOVES heavy metal music which is unbearable to me because it is too loud–but I guess it drowns out all other sounds.

Anyway, I’ll try to grant him the possibility of a sensory processing disorder. It would make a lot of his unusual quirks make sense. I still have a long way to go in reacting less and not taking it personally. But it is very hard to live with sometimes.

Maybe I’ll send him this site and he can get better at taking responsibility for his condition instead at being angry at the world for being so loud and disgusting…..

Thanks again.