As mentioned previously elsewhere I remember from a young age listening to people eat certain foods, usually juicy that I found it difficult to cope with. Also people that eat with their mouth open…the smacking. I can see and hear visual images as I write this and even that makes me uneasy.
Certain people stick out in my mind.
My mum eating fruit.
A work colleague who always ate green apples, who crunched, smacked her food and continued to speak with me whilst chewing on the apple.
The little girls who my mum babysat who worked out that I hated the noise of them eating, so they did it even more. One of the girls hummed whilst she ate…this drove me mad.
It was a friend who actually found an article on a social media site that burst out laughing when they read it and sent it to me. That was when I could first say that I had misophonia.
If I think of it throughout my life, multiple people have thought me ridiculous for asking them to stop talking so loud when we were conversing as I believed other people would hear. I have been told multiple times ‘do you think everyone has supersonic hearing???’. Maybe it’s just because I have.
I never told people about my irritation. I am ‘professional’ with acquaintances and colleagues and strangers. With family, I am horrendous. I look at them with disgust, I speak to them stating my disgust and really it’s me who has the disgusting behaviour. I imagine I can make people feel self conscious and upset. They haven’t stated this to me, just that I am oversensitive, I overreact or to ‘get a grip’.
My dog right now is chewing a dentastik and I feel the discomfort in my stomach.
When someone makes a noise, I wish to turn to them and say, could you please not do that as it causes me stress and upset. But that is not appropriate and they would think me unhinged. But it worries me that the sound continues on repeat to the point that instead of turning around calmly and speaking, that I will one day turn around and either batter them with words/insults