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December 23, 2020 at 9:47 am #1013514Matt
Good Morning, Friends –
I’m writing this morning due to pain and frustration with this Misophonia reality that has hit me full force one again. After feeling for some time that my personal coping mechanisms have been providing me with some level of peace and normalcy, my biggest trigger has presented itself in the form of two large dogs next door compliments of a new neighbor. Barking dogs has been my biggest trigger since I was a child – I’m now 46 years old. I’ve been fortunate to have lived in a relatively quiet neighborhood for the last few years, but this new neighbors dogs have turned my brain, mind, and overall spirit upside down. I was enjoying coffee with my wife this morning, playing Christmas music with the kids when the barking started. It sounded to me like the animals were in the room with us, and of course nobody else in my family even heard it. The barking was relatively short lived, but as those who suffer with misophonia know, just the idea that it could start at any minute is absolutely paralyzing. I now feel like a prisoner in my own home. This is not the first time this has happened. I’ve approached neighbors about this kind of thing before, and it usually results in people being annoyed at my lack of tolerance. I could cram my ears with ear plugs and hide in the basement and ignore my family but that’s not a solution.
I absolutely hate this disease and the pain / alienation it creates. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I feel like I’m never and can never be a truly happy person, as I’m always a bark, cough, sniff or a handful of other trigger sounds away from being angry and wanting to flee my environment.
I need help in the worst way, and feel like there’s nowhere to turn.January 4, 2021 at 9:38 am #1013562Charlotte
I feel your pain so deeply and please know you are never alone (although I think this thing feels just about the loneliest disease on the planet). Do your family know you suffer? Mine only know on the surface but have never take it seriously so when my mood swings and I feel at threat, they just think I’m being unreasonable whilst inside I feel like I’m in hell.
Can I ask what your coping mechanisms are? I’ve had this for as long as I can remember and have never seeked the help I need because of shame and embarrassment. I hope you are coping better today.
CharlotteJanuary 6, 2021 at 7:36 pm #1013605Samantha
Hey Charlotte. Its fascinating to read about your experiences. I have felt so lonely for a long time now. I feel like nobody can ever understand my reaction to sounds, and when they try to, I feel like they don’t really understand how big of an affect it has on my well-being. Yes, they can see that I get angry, and maybe they even acknowledge my mimic as a coping mechanism, but they can’t see my loneliness and helplessness. In conclusion; I can relate to your lack of coping. I have felt like a failure ever since I saw my school nurse 7 years ago. Today, I have a special “audio educator” (directly translated from Norwegian). She tries so hard, but like you I can’t really see myself coping with this disease. When I was younger, I used to fantasize about my future. Sadly, I can no longer see myself ever living a happy, married, family life. I, as you, am worried that I am broken.