Long, relieving, venting post about to happen:
I was SO relieved to know that I actually have a real thing happening in my brain when I first learned about misophonia about a year ago. I feel more validated and more hopeful knowing I’m not alone and that I’m not just an anxious overly sensitive jerk, which is how I feel when I’m experiencing a trigger. I am very good at feeling guilt and shame, not good at standing up for myself..working on it.
My main trigger, which doesn’t seem to be mentioned as often, is high-pitched nasally voices (think small children, cartoon character voices, etc). Currently REALLY struggling with this because I remarried 2 years ago and my 5-year-old step daughter’s voice is a huge trigger for me. I feel terrible guilt about it, so I kept it to myself (near-constant super high anxiety and emotional outbursts here n there whenever the girls are at our home-we have them half the time) until just this week when I finally told my husband and gave him a link to this website and a few articles…I could tell he was starting to notice my bizarre reactions to his daughter at certain times, and it is hard to dismiss yourself from family time, movies, et,c so often without the family thinking you dont like them much! This is my fault, I never spoke up about the actual sounds that trigger me, I just always blamed my anxiety and depression, which my husband is aware of. Sigh. It has gotten to the point that I have panic attacks at the end of my work day when I know that my stepdaughters will be there ready and excited to interact (I DO love them, very much, and they have very few behavioral issues) when I get home. The younger daughter’s voice makes me want to scream and rage and get away, and she is ALWAYS talking or humming or making noise of some sort. It is very hard to control the panic and rage and guilt I feel when this is happening. One good thing is that it isn’t constant, I am definitely more sensitive to it after a long day or when Im not getting much alone time. Anyway, I also have it with cartoon characters, yell-talking, which most kid shows characters do–EVERY CHARACTER usually annoys me, also high female voices, and loud talkers. These things enrage and upset me so much…..
PS I also dont love chewing or clicking sounds, but they dont push me to rage and panic like human voices do.