It’s sounds like an incredibly difficult situation you are in. From what you’ve described it does sound like you have misophonia, those are common trigger sounds you describe.
I’m posting a few links for you here in case they’re of any help:
How to discuss misophonia with your partner:
Some misophonia coping strategies:
More misophonia coping strategies:
There are also some excellent help and support groups online who specialise in self-harm: