Hi Susan, I guess another way to look at it is that we are the ones with the hypersensitivity, rather than the problem.
If you have a room of a 100 people and only 2 people gets upset/panicked/enraged by certain noises (you and I), the evidence would suggest that the noises themselves are normal. What’s happening is that our sensitivity to these noises is 200%… 300% or 500% higher than the other 98 people in the room.
So though it may feel as if the triggers are slams or punches or crashes or bangs that are being done to us, thoughtlessly or purposefully, they’re just everyday sounds that we have an extraordinary sensitivity to. That’s the reason why the people making the sounds are totally oblivious that they might be having an effect on others.
I sometimes find it helpful, after a misophonic episode, to try and reflect and rationalise with myself. I ask myself questions like: “Is there be any rational motive for this person to make these sounds with the intent of upsetting me or others?” “Is anyone else in the room affected by this noise?” “Is this person vindictive, cruel or unkind towards me, or others, in any other way?” The answer is usually no on all counts (for me at least). That doesn’t make us bad or wrong or a problem – it just means we’re people who need to be aware of our sensory hypersensitivity and find ways to work with it.